Part 69: Shanghaied

Interviews does not interrogate the issues it brings up nearly enough; note how it treats the situation as a tragedy that can’t be helped by either side instead of putting the blame on people who wouldn’t accept responsibility for their actions. It won’t go completely ignored, though, especially as time goes on.

Update 63: Shanghaied

Katawa Shoujo OST - Hokabi


HISAO: "Well, we'll see about that. Don't underestimate me."


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "Don't you have to follow through to make good on that, Hicchan?"


HISAO: "Ah, well, I could get lucky. Don't count out that possibility."


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "You won't~."


HISAO: "I will! Wait—"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "Let's make a wager on it, then!"


HISAO: "I don't care about competition."

That's a blatant lie.


HISAO: "Wait, what exactly do you mean?"


MISHA: "That's okay if you don't know, neither do I! Wahahaha!"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "So it's settled, then! All right, all right!"


HISAO: "What? Didn't you hear what I just said?"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "Now all that's left is the stakes! What the winner wins, or, more interestingly, what the loser loses!"


HISAO: "Hey!"

This is a very dangerous game I'm playing. Shizune herself is a very dangerous girl, if she can only think in terms of winning and losing. If she views every time that I talk with her as some kind of battle of wills, I don't think I could take it. That kind of thing drives people insane. She's too Machiavellian; before this I'd assumed she was just kind of stoic. But nevertheless, I'm interested. In hindsight, I realize that I just challenged her to what is essentially a duel without any rules that won't end until one of us... what? I guess that's it. That's so vague. What are the conditions for winning or losing? The first person to feel stupid loses?


HISAO: "I don't know, I've never had to think of anything like this before."


MISHA: "Never?"


HISAO: "Never."


MISHA: "So you have never gambled, Hicchan?"


HISAO: "I'm surprised you two have."


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "Oh, come on... It's just for fun, anyway! Between friends~! It's about causing humiliation, suffering, and absolute despair! Isn't that the point?"

Shizune puts a finger to her temple thoughtfully.


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Hm... Ah, how about this, Hicchan: If you lose, you have to go to school one day without any pants on."


HISAO: "Are you insane?"

Although in comparison to what I was afraid she would say, it's pretty mild.


HISAO: "Can't we just bet money, like normal people?"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "It's not like you could match my wager if we did~! Now, it's your turn! ...But nothing perverted! Understand?"


MISHA: "Hahaha!"


HISAO: "I think I need more time."

This is going to have me constantly on edge for weeks.


MISHA: "Okay~! Come on, you should both hurry up, your drinks are getting cold!"

I quickly down the rest of my coffee as Shizune does the same, staring at me with a fierce look of competition in her eyes. It seems like a waste for her to be gulping down something that someone may have died for her to enjoy.


MISHA: "Hicchan, are you sure you don't want to hang out tomorrow? A lot of people are looking forward to it; you don't want to miss out."

I mumble unintelligibly at her.


MISHA: "I don't really understand..."

It's time to think. Shizune's drink is smaller, but I can consume mine faster. If Shizune finishes her drink first, she might skip out on paying, leaving me to pick up the tab, even though she said the drinks were on her. Because I have no money on me, I would be humiliated, and therefore this could be considered a loss. If I finish first, the laws of chivalry would make me look like a jerk, as I would need to run out of this teahouse, leaving her to pay for everything. That could also be considered a loss. She would use that. In the event of a draw, she may attempt to run out the door, and I'll probably do the same. This might lead to a collision at the door, which would be humiliating, but not overly so. ...And Misha would be left to pick up the tab.

This is really childish. I'm a little disappointed in Shizune, and myself.


MISHA: "Well, Hicchan, it'd be really nice if we could all celebrate how well we put everything together for the festival by taking a look at our handiwork..."

Misha seems oblivious to the fact that an epic battle of wills is raging in front of her. I nod slowly and down the last of my coffee.


HISAO: "Well, I am finished enjoying my drink. I guess it's time for me to leave. And I am going to leave now. Calmly."


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "You too, Shicchan? Why are you two acting so weird?"

I quickly walk out the door and Shizune follows. Misha is going to have to foot the bill. Sorry, Misha. Catching up to me, Shizune quickly pushes her glasses up and presses a note into my hand.





HISAO: "So you think you can win today? That's kind of cocky, Shizune."

I forgot for a second that she can't hear me. I nod. Right now, she seems much cuter than she usually is, smiling softly with a hint of confidence coming through. Shizune looks energetic and carefree, although it could just be the caffeine. She winks, and extends her hand for a handshake. I wonder if there's a buzzer in there and she plans to shock me, but that doesn't seem like something she would do, so I accept. With a squeeze, she pushes another note into my hand. I momentarily think that it's a buzzer and wonder if the shock could kill me. Shizune smirks and then runs off.


I crush the note in my fist dramatically, but no one is there to see it, and that makes me sad. I wonder if it's too late to go back to the shop and ask Misha for directions. But then again, I gave her a hard time for not knowing the way here, so I can't allow her to score off me for not knowing the way back. And if I ask her, Shizune could see it as a victory. No, it's not necessary. The school is on top of a damn hill, how hard could it be to find? I may be slightly directionally challenged, but I'm sure that even I can do this.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies

About an hour and a half later, I walk the long paved path leading from the gates to the main building.




MISHA: "Hahaa! Just the person we were waiting for. So you made it here eventually, Hicchan, good! Now it's time for work work work~!"

Misha and Shizune had laid an ambush for me in the main lobby of the ground floor and I walked straight into it. I should have just circled around the school like I had originally planned, but I thought that I was overreacting and being silly. Misha is waving a thick stack of printouts in my general direction, taunting me.


MISHA: "We sort of need your help~!"


HISAO: "Sort of?"


MISHA: "We need your help~!"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "You will help us!"

Misha speaks with her usual playful, carefree manner, but even so I can hear Shizune's unnervingly hard severity behind it.


HISAO: "That sounds like an order."


MISHA: "Really? Is it?"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "Eh? It is? Ah, sorry, Hicchan, I guess it is! Hahahaha!"

She doesn't sound very sorry at all.


MISHA: "I thought we had almost everything done by now, but it turns out we have all these signs to attach to backing boards."


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "More hands make light work! And everybody wins! Hahahahaha!"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "This is your duty, after all, as a member of the Student Council. Which you are a part of. As a member. Of the Student Council. Ahahaha~!"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "It's a simple task, so getting it out of the way now would be good. It's not that much work. A small thing, really!"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "And we'd really appreciate your help! Really, really appreciate it! Besides, it's time to pay back for us treating you so nicely!"


HISAO: "So the tea shop was a trap after all! You two-timing scoundrels!"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "Don't say that, it was completely unrelated. We wanted to celebrate you joining the council!"

But why did she bring that up, then?


HISAO: "But—"


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "No buts! You're coming with us!"

I don't even get to finish my sentence as they grab me by the arms and try to pull me towards their office. Misha laughs giddily as she and Shizune exchange sly looks behind my back.


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Ah, I don't think you have a choice in this, Hicchan! Hahahaha! There are two of us, so don't even try to get away, now! Don't take us lightly!"


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Hicchan, it's your duty to help us, anyway! As a member of the Student Council!"


HISAO: "All right, all right! How could I forget? But, seriously, aren't there other people who can help you?"


MISHA: "Like who, Hicchan? You were fine with helping us yesterday..."


HISAO: "Yesterday is not today! And anyone who isn't me! Why don't you have anyone else in the council?"


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "That's what we'd like to know! ...Aha... Ahahahahaha!"

Misha's laughter explodes through the hall. She doesn't notice the grimace on my face at all. That's right, it's just the two of them, isn't it?


HISAO: "Oh, right. Okay, I'll help you."

Misha runs her tongue over her teeth, looking quite pleased.


MISHA: "That's my Hicchan! I knew we could trust you~!"


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "So predictable~."

(Silence)



When we get to the student council room, my jaw drops. The number of signs, backing boards, and signposts is insane. They're stacked all over the place like building materials at a construction site, something I let Shizune and Misha know right off the bat.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Ease


HISAO: "There are so many signposts here you could probably build a second wall around the school with them!"


MISHA: "Hahaha~! Really? Well, there are a lot of them, so maybe..."


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Eh? No? How do you know that, Shicchan?"


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Really?"


HISAO: "Don't tell me she's actually considered it?!"

Shizune hesitates, then pushes her glasses up a bit as Misha lets out a very uneasy sounding laugh. So she has considered it.


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Ahaha! That's... irrelevant, Hicchan! Can you get on with making the signs, please?"


HISAO: "All right, all right. I feel sort of lied to, though. I thought you said it wouldn't be that much work?"


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Ah, well, Shicchan meant it wouldn't be that much work for us."


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Someone has to supervise you while you do this, you know, to make sure you're doing it right. And those people will be us."


HISAO: "So what are you two going to do?"


MISHA: "Watch you! Hahahaha~!"


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "No, that was just a joke, Hicchan. We'll help out too, of course. The Student Council is really supposed to have a lot more people."




MISHA: "This is just a bad year. Fewer people than usual, even though we already didn't have many the year before. And then there's just a lot more work than before, too."


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Besides, Shicchan likes working with you. And so do I! We've accomplished a lot more than we normally could, you know."

(Silence)

I can accept that. Lately, they've been looking a little fatigued every time I see them. Student council work is apparently a 24-hour-a-day thing, and from what I've seen and heard, there are just the two of them. Well, I guess I make it three. They must work almost nonstop. I wonder how much time they spend working in this room, when I don't see them.



And I've even glimpsed Misha taking naps sometimes without Shizune at her side. By herself, Shizune has to be working 60-hour weeks doing her student council duties, on top of regular classes.

Wonder why.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Afternoon

Two hours pass, and I reach for a tack only to find the box is empty. Shizune grabs it before I can even say anything. She smiles, tossing it expertly into a trash can along with another empty box of tacks.


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "So you're out too, Hicchan? Don't worry, Shicchan says she'll get some more. Hahahaha! We went through a box too, but me and Shicchan decided to wait until you needed a new box as well before getting a new one."

Something about that strikes me as odd.


HISAO: "Wait, we both ran out of tacks just now? Wow, what a weird coincidence, huh?"


MISHA: "Ah, well, actually, Hicchan, we ran out twenty minutes ago, and there was only one spare box of tacks, the ones we gave to you. And you were flying through those pretty quickly, so~! we thought that we should wait until we both had no more tacks before getting more! Then, Shicchan could go get fresh boxes of tacks for all of us at the same time. You know, for efficiency~!"

Shizune nods, preparing to step out the door.


HISAO: "Wait a second, so what did you two do for the past 20 minutes?"


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Ahaha~! Nothing, of course! What could we do? We had no tacks, Hicchan!"

Shizune and Misha exchange knowing glances before they give me a perfectly synchronized and incredibly exaggerated simultaneous shrug.


HISAO: "I see. So you decided to take a break. Clever."


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Oh, we know it was clever."


HISAO: "Whose idea was it?"


MISHA: "The both of us, of course, of course! Ahahaha~! Well, Hicchan, it was all Shicchan's idea."

(Silence)

I turn immediately to Shizune, who gives me a curt wave and a surprisingly cheery smile before quickly vanishing out the door. Well then why didn't you just say you wanted to take a break!? I used to think that Shizune and Misha were polar opposites. Misha always seems so energetic and playful, like any other girl. Shizune, on the other hand, always seemed distant. Aggressively manipulative and vaguely scary, but distant. There were times when I thought that she had no sense of humor. As cute as she was, I'd almost never seen her smile. Not to mention all the other things. The analytical stare, the permanently stoic expression, and even her penmanship; so mechanically precise that everything she writes looks typed. But Shizune and Misha really aren't as different as I'd thought.


HISAO: "I'm a little surprised."


MISHA: "Why?"

Katawa Shoujo OST - The Student Council (Shizune’s Theme)


HISAO: "Shizune. I didn't know that she liked to joke around like that."

What I mean to say is, I didn't know that she could act so girlish. It was actually pretty cute.


MISHA: "You would be surprised, Hicchan."


HISAO: "Well, I didn't know you and her were so close, either, the first time I saw you."

I've always been curious as to how these two met.


HISAO: "Do you two go far back or something? Childhood friends? Next-door neighbors?"


MISHA: "Haha... Sorry, Hicchan, it's not anything like that, even if it would be cuter that way. When I came to this school, they just placed me next to Shicchan, and she looked like a very serious person.”




MISHA: "And I thought, “I'm going to be spending the rest of the year next to this person, maybe!” But~, I wonder if she'll like me.’ And I learned that she was deaf. You know, Hicchan, the first time I just thought she was ignoring me~! But, luckily, I knew a little sign language, and we became friends."

I want to know where Misha learned how to sign, but I guess that's something for another time.


MISHA: "Now, I guess we're always together. It's nice, I've always wanted someone to listen to me, and I think Shicchan likes having someone to talk to! So, everybody wins."


HISAO: "Heh. That's nice."


MISHA: "That's it? You look disappointed, Hicchan, what were you expecting? Ahahahahaha! You know, Hicchan, I don't think that me and Shicchan thanked you properly."


HISAO: "For what?"


MISHA: "Joining the Student Council. You've been a real help to us, Hicchan! I think I will get a lot more sleep now~!"


HISAO: "Well, I'm glad I could help, if it helps a young woman sleep at night."


MISHA: "That's an interesting thing to say, Hicchan. Shicchan really appreciates you helping us out too."

At that moment, Shizune steps back into the room, looking slightly annoyed and sipping offhandedly from a juicebox.


SHIZUNE: "..."

(Clanging Sound Effect)

She throws two boxes of tacks on the floor with a wry smile.


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "Ah, Shicchan."

(Crunching Sound Effect)

Misha opens her mouth to speak, but then quickly closes it as Shizune suddenly crumples her juicebox with a crunch like the sound of breaking bones.


SHIZUNE: "...! ... ...!"

I can tell that each harsh, quaking hand gesture is most likely an epithet.


HISAO: "What's she saying?"


MISHA: "It was just very hard to get these..."


SHIZUNE: "...!"


MISHA: "I guess that is an understatement, Shicchan..."

Shizune calms down a bit, straightening her glasses and lightly brushing her bangs back with one finger.


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "It really wasn't a big deal in retrospect? That's forward thinking of you! All right then, I guess the two of us should get back to work, Hicchan!"


HISAO: "Sure, why not."

(Silence)

By the time we're done with the signs, it's already getting dark out. I hadn't expected something like this to take so long. But then again, if it were that easy, I doubt Shizune and Misha would have asked for my help.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Raindrops and Puddles



Shizune falls into a nearby chair, cracking her knuckles systematically and letting out a muted yawn.


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "That's all for today, I guess! That's a good thing, Shicchan, I'm very tired, too."


HISAO: "That took longer than expected."


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "You agree? Hahaha, we didn't expect it to take so long either! Not as planned! Aww, I'm so hungry. I just realized I haven't eaten all day."

Now that I think about it, I have eaten nothing since I woke up this morning, but right now I'm almost too tired to think about food.


HISAO: "I think they already stopped serving dinner."


MISHA: "This can't be happening! Hicchan, can you think of any way we could... obtain food?"


HISAO: "Obtain food?"

I don't like her tone of voice.


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "Why not order out? Oh, that's right, I guess I could do that."


HISAO: "Order out? From where?"


MISHA: "From town, of course!"


HISAO: "I didn't know they deliver to the school. Well, what are you going to get?"


MISHA: "Maybe some Chinese food!"


HISAO: "As long as you're going to, can I get in on it too? I'm also pretty hungry."


MISHA: "Ahahaha~! Hicchan, you should have just said so in the first place!"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "What's that? It's your treat? That's great! That's great!"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "Wahaha, that's true, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be here so late, Shicchan!"

Misha quickly grabs a menu from a drawer behind her and begins to enter the number slowly and carefully, as if she's used to messing it up.


MISHA: "What do you want, Hicchan?"


HISAO: "Well, I guess I'll just have some dumplings."

I raise my hand in a gesture of thanks to Shizune, who responds with a very faint, split-second smile.


MISHA: "Ahahahahaha~!! Hicchan, Shicchan is paying for everything tonight, it's all on her, so you can afford to splurge a little!"


HISAO: "Some shrimp fried rice too, then."


MISHA: "All right, all right! And you, Shicchan?"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "A Chinese omelette? Okay, then."


HISAO: "Hey, Misha, does that really mean “omelette”? Can I see that again?"


MISHA: "Sure! Haha! Like this, like this...”

Her sprite flips between arm-and-finger-up and arms-at-her-side.


MISHA: "And this is for what you ordered: Dumplings!”

Her sprite flips between arm-and-finger-up and arms-at-her-side.


MISHA: "Shrimp fried rice!”

Her sprite flips between arm-and-finger-up and arms-at-her-side.


MISHA: "I'm going to get soup and a stir-fry, you say that like this...”

Her sprite flips between arm-and-finger-up and arms-at-her-side.


MISHA: "And here's how much it all costs: 3685 yen!”

Her sprite flips between arm-and-finger-up and arms-at-her-side.


MISHA: "Wahahahaha~!"


HISAO: "Well, I don't know in how many situations I'll need to remember such an exact number..."


MISHA: "Ahahahaha! Okay~! I'm going to order now, unless anyone wants something else. No objections? All right all right, then!"



Shizune impatiently twirls a pair of chopsticks between her fingers as we wait for the food to arrive.


HISAO: "Hey, where did you get those?"


MISHA: "This isn't the first time we've ordered out, Hicchan, and they always give us a ton of chopsticks, for some reason, even when we tell them we're only two people."


HISAO: "And you two have accumulated a lot of them from a lot of long nights eating takeout in the office?"


MISHA: "That's exactly it! Hahahahahaha!"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "I'm overstating it?"


SHIZUNE: "..."


MISHA: "Haha! That's right, Shicchan! Hey, Hicchan, did you know that once we've collected a hundred pairs of chopsticks from ordering out, we'll be able to take over the universe?"


HISAO: "I used to think that too, when I was little."


MISHA: "Hicchan, are you good at breaking them down the middle? I can never do it right, so I found the little pile of chopsticks Shicchan had saved up and practiced on at least twenty of them. She was really mad about that!"


SHIZUNE: "...!"

I let out a laugh as Shizune turns bright red with indignation. I didn't know she had such a childish side. When the food arrives, I dig in heartily, drinking one of the tiny cans of soda Shizune bought for us from one of the vending machines in the hall. Thanking them both for the food, I head back to the dorms, ready to turn in for the night.

(Silence)



The dorms are eerily quiet except for the sounds of portable TVs and radios murmuring unintelligibly behind thin walls. It's quiet here at night, and very peaceful. I can hear the crickets chirping outside my window, and see actual stars when I look up. Tired, I try to fall asleep as quickly as I can, only feeling slightly robbed of my Saturday.

Now all that’s left is the festival, including Kenji’s Update 16 breakdown, Shizune edition.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Out of the Loop


HISAO: "I'm going to have to hang out with the Student Council, since I lost a bet."

I realize that we didn't agree on when and where. I'll just wait for them rather than risk us missing each other in the chaos outside. They must be busy running around and organizing things, anyway. It's funny. I would've assumed the price for losing to Shizune in her stupid game to be a lot more severe. This is just a pretense for spending time with her. In that case, I guess she just wants me to have fun. Even though she can't just come out and make her intentions clear, they may be good intentions after all, and I think I'm starting to like her more.


HISAO: "I could skip going, but it'd be a waste. And I want to go, too. I mean, you know, today does seem pretty exciting. If anything, it'll be interesting."


KENJI: "The Student Council? What? That's still around? Isn't it like, two dudes?"


HISAO: "They're both girls."


KENJI: "Really? Are they cute? Damn, no, wait... are they cute? No! It doesn't matter! I heard the Student Council president is insane... that whoever it is never talks and only gives orders through flunkies. Shit, they're the same in every school... Sounds like a cold-hearted bitch. Bitches everywhere. If it's two girls, they outnumber you two-against-one. That is a dangerous situation, dude. Who knows what can happen. Damn, the Student Council is just two women, but they hold so much power. They must be stopped. I can see them, plotting ways to push their feminist agenda. I can't trust an administration like that. This is not cool. Not cool! Damn. Shit! Damn!"

Thanks, Kenji.